Unmemorable Memories

Two days until we move. I have mixed emotions. On one hand I am excited at the prospects of moving to a new home. One that has been customized to a certain extent to our liking. One that is larger so that our two growing children will have more space to play and learn. One that is close to parks, a library, a community center, an Adventist school, shopping and many other amenities.

On the other hand, this old house is where many memories were made. This was our first home. Chris and I bought it together, moved into it together, planned our future here together. Both our children were born here. Caitlin has made many memories in this house. A part of me is sad to leave this home that has grown to be a part of us.

Being the son of a minister, I used to move from house to house a lot when I was a kid. I guess I never really got used to it. We may bring all our things, but it is inevitable that those intangible memories, although we bring them with us, makes us feel like we’ve left something behind.

It won’t be different this time around.

On March 15, 2008 at 4:58 P.M. my daughter Catherine Eeva was born. She was 5 lbs, 4.5 oz at birth. We are very grateful for this wonderful gift from God. Catherine is truly a gift from God, one we specifically asked for. Her arrival has been a “Hallelujah moment” for me.

I thank God for her, and I can only hope to do my best in training her for a life of dedicated service to the One who has entrusted her to me.

I thought this was pretty cool.

There is nothing more frightening than to hear your two year old gasping for air after waking up from a nap. As usual, I arrive home from work after a long tiring day looking forward to a nice home cooked meal and a relaxing evening with my family. Caitlin was still napping, as Chris prepared dinner. Then we heard some noise coming from the bedroom, “She’s up,” Chris exclaims. “That’s not her, that’s the neighbor’s dog!” I retorted. After all, the noise I heard sounded like a barking noise. A few seconds later, I heard sobs. I quickly ran up the stairs and found her at the top of the stairs having difficulty breathing. My first thought was maybe she’s choking on something. Since her breaths were irregular and sporadic, I thought something might be blocking her airway. All those first aid classes as part of Pathfinders during my childhood quickly flashed into my mind. I proceeded to perform the Heimlich maneuver a few times. But nothing came out. That just made her cry all the more. At this point since she’s able to cry louder, she must be breathing, I concluded. She continued to gasp for air and make barking noises. A call to 911 was made, and in no time the ambulance had arrived. In the ambulance her breathing stabilized and her demeanor improved, even performing antics that made the paramedics laugh in the ambulance. At the hospital, the Doctor’s analysis was croup. A common condition in young children. Nothing to be alarmed about.

Although both Chris and I were calm during this whole ordeal, thoughts of possibly losing my 2 year old flashed in and out of my mind. Prayers were uttered.

Air is vital to survival. As a child, Caitlin already realizes this, as I saw her summon all her strength to take that next breath of air.

Prayer is the breath of our soul. Is my soul gasping for breath? Is yours?

I’d like to instill Seventh-day Adventist beliefs to my dear Caitlin Ema. She is at an age when she will absorb everything she can experience through her senses. It becomes critical then that whatever I teach her via verbal instruction must match her experience.

Adventists believe in certain lifestyle principles. As an Adventist I’d like to instill those principles in her now. After all the wise man said “Train up a child in the way she should go, for when she is old, she will not depart from it.” So at this very young age of two, I need to give her instruction. And not only that, my instruction must match her experience. I need to give her an example. If I tell her that sharing is good, I should model that and she needs to see me share what I have, not only with her but with others as well. If I tell her that we don’t eat certain foods, or consume certain drinks, I should model that as well. If I say that Adventists should dress modestly, then I should do that as well.

There is a problem when she sees others who claim to be Adventists yet violate the aspects of Adventism which I’ve been trying to teach her. How do I explain to her the mismatch in behavior and belief which she observes? What if that mismatch was seen in family members? I cannot say, “they are not true Adventists”… or can I? I’d like her to stay close to family members, because I love them dearly. Yet I do not want to be put in a position to explain why their lifestyle attitudes are different when they claim to believe the same things I believe in.

Some may think I’m being superficial by focusing on external things. It’s not that I’m fixated on these external things. Caitlin is young. She sees the external things. I can attempt to explain to her the depth of God’s love, and the concept of a relationship with Christ, that we need not look at the external appearances because God looks within the heart, and … Somehow I don’t think she can grasp that concept yet.