Whispered Odd Wonderments

…my grey matter musings…

Random

Posted at 11:13 am on Tuesday, July 1, 2008

- Welcome Catherine Eeva!

- I must admit that watching new episodes and re-runs of Jon & Kate Plus Eight are my feel-good moments of the day. I truly cannot fathom how Kate does it with sanity still somewhat intact. I’ve told Edsel a dozen times that we’re stopping at two. There’s no way I’m chancing another pregnancy with a fairly good probability of at least twins to re-surface in my generation from my Guarin bloodline. Read Jon & Kate’s story in “Multiple Blessings” or track them on their personal blog. More of God’s blessings to you, Jon & Kate, as you seek to raise your eight blessings in a Christian home!

- I wept as I watched a re-run of Randy Pausch’s appearance on Oprah. I’m not quite sure why I wept. Perhaps it’s because I too have very young children who need me to be around for much longer. Perhaps it’s because I too have a spouse I adore too much to lose. Perhaps it’s because I too have parents whom I simply can’t imagine living life without. Perhaps it was just the post-partum hormones at work or perhaps it’s because I was reminded of the stark reality of just how fleeting life can be. Whatever it was, Randy Pausch serves as an inspiration to millions and we can all definitely learn from his “Last Lecture” (though it was really written only for his three dear children).

- The Rakku Shoe Wheel has got to be one of the best inventions for a shoe lover like me. So off I went to Home Outfitters to snag two silver ones in order to help me move my collection from point A to point B. It’s everything it’s advertised to be and I’m totally loving the Wheel of Fortune effect, haha. I just might also have to purchase the Rakkiddo in the near future given that I have not only one, but two girls.

- The new Kelsey’s ads to the tune of the Cheers theme song truly resonates with me. While we do not frequent it nearly as much as the Cheers patrons did their pub, nor do we get recognized by the wait staff, I recently realized that Kelsey’s has been at the centre of many of our life events. Kelsey’s was where my first pregnancy was confirmed, where we took Caitlin for her first restaurant experience, and where we shared a late meal with Vincent and his mom after the only time they didn’t get on a flight from YYZ to SFO, just to name a few. It did sadden me to see them close locations that were familiar to us like the ones on Steeles & Keele and Centre & Atkinson, but it thrills me greatly that I will be able to walk to the Taunton & Harmony location from our new home. And when I do make the walk, you can be sure that my familiarity with the establishment will at least allow me to make do without the menu and order my staple in a snap - Four Cheese Spinach Dip, Broccoli Cheddar Soup, Balsamic Chicken or their new 8 oz. Smothered Steak, and Chocolate Mousse. Bon appetit!

- Selling the house was truly a roller-coaster experience, having dealt with six offers until the seventh one which finally panned out. To say it was a stressful time would be a gross understatement. I am never, ever putting myself through a house sale and move with an infant ever again. (But then again, I don’t plan to have an infant ever again anyway.) Edsel was my rock grounded firmly in Christian faith. When I felt God far, when I doubted Him, when I questioned Him, Edsel never failed to plead with me, pray for me, piece me together. He kept our family going and I’m one darn blessed woman to have a man utterly devoted to his children, his wife, and most importantly, his God. In the end, Friday-the-13th turned out to be our lucky day after all as we heard our agent’s voice declare “Sold!”

- Indeed, I have never seen Edsel’s faith in action as much as I did during our house sale. All I can say is that he truly is a man of God. He may be a minister’s son and he may be a church head elder but he truly is a man of God.

- Woefully, however, I cannot say the same for people whom I thought to be of mature Christian faith. No, they are not just anybody in the church; they are elders, department heads, conservatives, major supporters. No, they were not just anybody to me; they were role models, mentors, confidantes, advisers. But in a series of events that still seem so unreal to me, like life played back in black & white film, I disbelievingly saw their character unfold into one dictated by money, driven by materialism, and tainted by greed. It has been a few months now and I still cannot fathom it all but suffice it to say that I will never forget the deceit, the horor, the pain. And to think I actually sought to help them which started it all. Mercy!

- Am I the only one totally stoked about the return of 90210?! I am so old school but I don’t care. A VHS tape and recorder along with my parents’ cable subscription will allow me to follow the new series come fall. I can already hear the re-mastered tune playing in my head.

- Little Mosque on the Prairie cracks me up! Nuff said.

- Yes, I have been spending a lot of time in front of the tube lately as breastfeeding has been my primary activity. So between my and Edsel’s parents’ TVs and our own 13-inch with really long bunny ears (yes, we continue to do without a big screen, cable, or satellite), I’ve racked up my own list for must-see TV. And as always, Jeopardy! tops that list.

- June 8th saw us skipping breakfast in deference to Sunday brunch at The Manor to celebrate Edsel’s birthday and Father’s Day. We frequent The Manor for Sunday brunch partly to re-live our own wedding reception, to take in the view, and to visit *old friends* like doorman Rudy. We also do it for the scrumptious fare which again didn’t disappoint except for the absence of their freshly-squeezed orange juice. Thanks, Peter & Paul, for wonderful memories remembered over and over again.

- It looks like everything’s on schedule for us to close the new house on September 17. There’s a bitterness to this otherwise sweet experience that I can and will only admit to a handful of people. And while we’ve dumped nearly $35K in addition to the list price for upgrades, and although Edsel has given me the green light for another $10K in new furnishings, this will not be our family’s home for the long haul. Oh we’ll be there for a while, at least long enough for the girls to at least finish elementary. But growing up in a first-rate subdivision of custom built homes in the Philippines, you can imagine my utter detest for what I call *cookie-cutter* houses, which seem to be the commonality among Canadian builders and communities. Now, moreso than ever, I look forward to that day when I will be handed a key to a house that I can truly call just my own. It doesn’t have to be grand; it just has to be one-of-a-kind. I already have a few architects in mind and you can be sure I’ll be keeping the blueprints under lock and key. Am I the only one who has this weird obsession for one-of-a-kind homes?!

- Happy Canada Day!

Lovesick

Posted at 11:19 am on Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Setting:
The Doctor’s House

The Menu:
1st Course ~ Soupe du Jour
2nd Course ~ Smoked Salmon Stuffed with In-House Cheese, Dried Figs Poached in Port Wine, and Churned Baccala Quenelle
3rd Course ~ Veal Cheek Ravioli in Mushroom Tomato Sauce, Romano Lupo Shavings, Creamed Parmiggiano Risotto with Veal Jus
4th Course ~ Trio of Meats: Grilled Lamb Chop, Grilled Beef Tenderloin, Veal Rib Eye Medallion
5th Course ~ Chocolate Fondue with Strawberries and Other Goodies

The Duration:
3 hours

The Cost:
$250.00

Beyond the seemingly exorbitant cost was an ordinary couple on an ordinary holiday celebrating the extraordinary blessing of having and loving each other. Indeed, apart from the dinner were a tulip plant, some Ferrero Rochers, the early Sony DCR-DVD308, but what will truly be cherished are his efforts which she knows are extraordinary by his standards, his words expressed on cards which she knows are extraordinary by any woman’s standards, but most importantly, his love which she knows exceeds extraordinary bounds because of his love for God’s standards.

Edsel, you will always remain extraordinary to me. Not only because of how you love me or that you even love me at all, but above all, because of how you love our Lord. I’m happy to hold 2nd place in your heart and I know that as long as you keep Him as your 1st love then I will be in the best of human hands. I. Love. You.

Bent-Oh!

Posted at 4:03 pm on Friday, February 8, 2008

I’ve got to admit it. I am a very frustrated mother of not only a picky-eater toddler, but a slow-eater as well. I’ve tried everything kosher and not - bribes, rewards, punishments, single food offerings, buffet style, with a drink, without a drink, short order cook, long order cook, books about food, videos about food, participation in grocery shopping, participation in food preparation, participation in cooking… - heck, just yesterday, we even went so far as to fake leaving her at home alone. Those of you on Facebook might have noticed me scream “I’m fed up with feeding!”

Oh she’ll eat alright but not without much patience, much prodding, much pleading. And those chubby cheeks? Chalk it up to an insatiable appetite for milk - whole, 2%, 1%, soy, rice, with yogurt, even with medicine… basically anything that’s white-ish so long as it’s in a bottle. But with the eventual withdrawal of the bottle and with kindergarten looming over the horizon, I’ve got to wonder if my Caitlin Ema will actually eat her packed lunch and snacks, let alone eat them within the time alloted.

With renewed spirit today (she actually fed herself and finished her breakfast and lunch within a decent 1/2 hour - hallelujah!), I set forth surfing in search for even more ideas, suggestions, and pro advice. Long story short, in order to keep my sanity, I’m back to square one, rather the first thing I ever tried - I control when she eats and what she’s offered to eat, and she controls what she eats and how much she eats. The only thing different then and now is the additional suggestion of paying some attention to presentation, because apparently the sense of sight feeds into (pun intended) the sense of taste and so if it looks good then it must taste good too. You knew that right? I did too but I guess I never really put that into practice in my own kitchen, especially since I can get away with feeding my low-maintenance husband right out of the pot.

It must have been divine providence then that I chanced upon Skip Hop’s Palette Plate while browsing thru my Parenting magazine last night. Cool and chic, it most definitely fits the bill for a fun in-house meal. And as for meals-to-go, there’s the ever-popular Zojirushi Lunch Jars and Plastica’s Bento Box which even made it into the venerable O list. But my mind’s made up on Laptop Lunches, which seems the most kid-friendly out of the three. So it looks like Edsel will have to make a few stops while he’s in New York next week, and as for me, well, Bento, here I go!

Application for Permission to Date My Daughter

Posted at 8:20 pm on Tuesday, January 22, 2008

With one daughter and another on the way, I’m sure this will come in handy in the future!

—————————–

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME _____________________________ DATE OF BIRTH ____________

HEIGHT ________ WEIGHT _________ IQ __________ GPA _________

SOCIAL SECURITY #______________ DRIVERS LICENSE #____________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_____________________________________________________
CITY/STATE ____________________________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: _______________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married _________________________________

If less than your age, explain:
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED ‘YES’ TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)

ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does ‘LATE’ mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ‘DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER’ mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ‘ABSTINENCE’ mean to you?
____________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? ____________

mother? ___________

pastor? ____________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

____________________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

____________________________________________________________________

C: A woman’s place is in the:

____________________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

____________________________________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up?

____________________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

____________________________________________________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANTI TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

_____________________________________________________________
Applicant’s Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother’s Signature Father’s Signature

_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/ Rabbi State Representative/Congressman

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back) .

To prepare yourself, start studying Daddy’s Rules for Dating.

Daddy’s Rules for Dating
Your dad’s rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you’re a guy):

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re surely not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a ‘Barrier method’ of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: ‘early.’

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing or holding hands. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

My Favourite Day

Posted at 11:25 am on Monday, December 24, 2007

Last Sabbath marked a milestone in Caitlin Ema’s musical journey as she sang solo for our church Christmas program. The practice began as early as late October and the song was carefully chosen to provide a simple, yet unique, reminder of what Christmas is really all about. Caitlin Ema’s song resonates:


The special thing that makes me happy in every way
Is God sent Baby Jesus to be born on Christmas Day

My favourite day, my favourite day
Jesus is why Christmas is my favourite day

So as most of the world celebrates Christmas, let us all remember to keep *CHRIST* in Christmas. Merry CHRISTmas, everybody!

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